I have an admission to make: I read most Board of Control, Standing Committee, and Council meeting agendas, and I also read any attached reports that spark my interest. I do it partly for my job, but also because I enjoy it. I view it as recreational because I partly read the reports through the lens of my favourite essay of all time, George Orwell’s “Politics and the English Language.” Read Orwell’s essay for yourself, but the basic synopsis is that it is far better to write with clear and concise prose and avoid pretentious diction and meaningless words. Or, applying Orwell’s thesis to City Hall, “if you write in a way that people can understand you’ll empower the reader, build trust in the messenger and generally clear up confusion before it starts – write goobley-gook and you’ll disengage people, promote cynicism, and get bit in the ass when/if people eventually figure out they don’t like what you’re saying.” Far too often administrators at all levels of government use (or abuse) language, consciously and unconsciously, which doesn’t encourage citizens to engage with issues of the day. Making matters worse, our local media has been decimated so we have fewer resources (other than intrepid part-time bloggers and agitators) at our disposal to put the goobley-gook into context for citizens.

A long-winded way to say: I’ll have a regular feature on the blog called: “Bureaucracy-speak and the English Language”, where I’ll highlight some of the worst abuses – I obviously can’t fix the situation, but maybe my critiques will be a small contribution to shortening up these reports, and making them more readable.

Today’s featured prose comes from the Board of Control agenda for June 23rd – written by Mr. Fielding, agenda item 7a, page 28, subject “City Hall Renovations.”

“The new 11th floor layout is designed to function as a high-performance environment that seamlessly integrates architecture, furniture and technology to create a workplace that becomes a critical management tool supporting the Corporate strategies that directly impact business results.”

My translation: “We built these offices in the 1970’s when there was a typewriter and ashtray on every desk and a computer was an entire floor of the London Life building. We need new furniture, desks, and computers so we can do the job citizens expect of us. Peace out.”

Have a great day all four of my readers - off to Toronto for dinner, so it’ll be a late night. Might suspend blogging activity tomorrow, depending on my energy level.